Humorous Angst



A Hairy Tale
by Dinledhwen

THE STORY SO FAR:  Now that everyone has returned to Edoras after the battle at Helm's Deep, preparations for a victory party are being made. This would include our heroes having the opportunity to freshen up so they each have been shown to a room in the guest wing of the Golden Hall. Now as the party draws near, only Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli have yet to leave for the party.


THE SCENE:  The hallway outside the guest rooms. Gimli is standing before a closed door trying to get in but the door is locked. Clearly he is frustrated and quite red in the face when Aragorn comes walking around the corner.

ARAGORN:  Gimli what is the problem? Have you locked yourself out?

GIMLI: almost shouting No I have not locked myself out! That stubborn Elf has locked himself in his room and refuses to come out!

ARAGORN:  obviously puzzled by this Why would he do something like that?

GIMLI:  almost shouting again I don't know why and he won't tell me! And he says dwarves are stubborn! directs this last comment towards the door

ARAGORN:  lays a calming hand on the dwarf's left shoulder while looking down at his friend Let me see if I can find out what is going on here. now looks at door Legolas can you hear me?

LEGOLAS:  a short pause Yes I can hear you. But I'm still not coming out.

ARAGORN:  Won't you at least tell us why? We're your friends. Maybe we can help you.

LEGOLAS:  another pause but longer this time I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to help me with...

ARAGORN:  prompts With what?

LEGOLAS:  in an anguish-filled voice I can't say! It's too embarrassing!

GIMLI:  obviously still hasn't calmed down I'm going to go and get my axe and chop that door down!

ARAGORN:  quickly stops the dwarf after he has taken a couple of steps down the hallway and whispers No Gimli that is not the answer to this problem. We must have patience. now looks at door Legolas please we're your friends! Even if we can't help you, at least open the door and let us in.

LEGOLAS:  another long pause Well all right I'll open the door but both of you will have to promise me you won't laugh.

ARAGORN AND GIMLI:  together eagerly We promise!

LEGOLAS:  unlocks door and opens it but only wide enough for his friends to enter before quickly closing it

ARAGORN AND GIMLI:  take one look at Legolas and burst out laughing for the Elf's normally well kept long blonde hair is now very frizzy and lime green

LEGOLAS:  wails while covering his face with his hands and sitting down on the edge of the bed You promised you wouldn't laugh!

ARAGORN:  *wipes the tears from his eyes* I'm sorry Legolas but I just couldn't help myself.

GIMLI:  still is chuckling

LEGOLAS:  picks up bath towel from bed and puts it over his head

DOOR:  someone knocks on it

LEGOLAS: groans from under towel Don't answer it! I can't let anyone else see me like this!

DOOR:  someone knocks on it again

ARAGORN:  No I must answer it. Maybe something has happened that we need to know about. *steps over to door and opens it to find Eowyn standing there in the hallway*

EOWYN:  smiles sweetly at Aragorn Oh my Lord I have been looking for you .. peers around him and sees Legolas sitting on the bed with a towel over his head and Gimli wiping the tears from his eyes with his beard Is something wrong my Lord with your friends?

ARAGORN:  pauses Well yes there is something wrong with one of them. Why don't you show her your problem Legolas? I'm sure the gracious Lady here can help you.

LEGOLAS:  sighs and pulls the towel off his head

EOWYN:  gasps in shock when she sees his hair Did you use the shampoo in a small plastic white bottle?

LEGOLAS:  obviously very unhappy Yes I did.

EOWYN:  I'm sorry Legolas but this is Grima Wormtongue's doing. He was in charge of buying supplies for Edoras. Of course he would buy the cheapest stuff he could find so he could pocket most of the money for himself. While we only had to deal with the frizzies, none of our hair turned green. Maybe it has something to do with you being as Elf. Anyway I believe I have a possible cure in my private stash that I've been saving in case of an emergency. I'll be right back. ten minutes later she returns panting from running all the way and hands Legolas a tan colored plastic bottle Here go and try this.

LEGOLAS:  looks doubtfully at the bottle before going into bathroom and closing door. Soon the sound of the shower could be heard

ARAGORN:  looks at Eowyn While we're waiting for my friend you said you were looking for me.

EOWYN:  smiles sweetly at Aragorn again and comes closer I was just checking to see if you were ready for the party. I was hoping we could walk there together.

ARAGORN:  Yes I am ready, and I will gladly walk with you my Lady. But first we must wait to see how Legolas's hair turns out.

EOWYN:  a bit unhappy Of course we must wait.

LEGOLAS:  there soon comes the sound of a hair dryer from the bathroom which goes on for what feels like an eternity to those waiting before it stops. Then there is a long stretch of silence.

GIMLI:  obviously tired of waiting and almost shouts Well don't keep us in suspense any longer! Did it work?!

LEGOLAS:  opens the door and they can see that his long blonde hair is back to its perfect braided form again. He bows to Eowyn I'm eternally grateful for your help Lady Eowyn.

THE SCENE:  With Aragorn and Eowyn in the lead, they all leave the bedroom and walk down the hallway towards the party.


THE END